I’d Rearrange the Worlds

Golden-orange-rosy light of sunrise,
and I am reminded of the essential sense of You;

the passion with which you grieve your faults,
the fire with which you defend the Children’s Right to Be
exactly as they are,
to make their Choices
free of interference or punishment
that does not follow from their actions.

We stood so close so many times;
I shiver still in memory -
breath catching in my throat.

Every shape you choose to take
destroys my resolve to stand aside
and not be swept away into the bliss
that is your presence.

Although by now,
so many centuries,
multitudes of lifetimes -
I still struggle to admit that I’m in love.

Head over heels
Irretrievably
Hopelessly

I regret NOTHING
Except my inability to be graceful about it;
My failure to show you
precisely how Treasured you are
in this and every lifetime
gnaws at my core.

The fact that you shower me with romantic gestures
sweet, loving names,
and my instinctive replies –
out before I realize it’s said -
is always snide, dismissive, fearful.

I hide behind snark and dark glasses.
I hide behind bad habits.

You are the moral compass I lost so long ago
and I cannot even speak the love that burns
as embers in the darkest part of my soul
for you.

You stand just to the left of me, or to the right.
Direction dies when you are Present.
There is no hope for my hiding.
Not any longer.

You turn slightly, facing me.
Your smile lighting up worlds,
I have gone mute
again.

“It’s time for lunch,” you say,
and if it weren’t, I’d rearrange the worlds
for you
so that it would be.

“Ngk.” is all I say.