Lost My Point

I have lost it;

the crystal
the point you gave me
I lost it

Intermingled

you are distant

and yet intermingled with my essence

my very cells
carry you within their walls

as I am carried within yours
for all eternities

this one,
and every other

any rebirth,
you will find me

by your side
the very moment

I am able
to fly into your arms

when you have them
if you have them

oh Treasure House of Delight!
there is no other

in all the myriad Worlds
worth knowing

there is only you

Only You

The morning is everything, the demon sighs.
Sunrise. Your voice.
The texture of it flowing down my collarbone into the corner
of my elbow, where it pools like liquid gold.

Distracted over breakfast -
the songbirds wake; singing hymns and paens to your
inexorable and numberless beauties, O hazel-eyed divinity.
All I can do is fumble over my eggs in wordless wonder.

Nightfall is everything, the angel hymns.
Moonrise. Your breath condenses in the cool of the evening,
gathering ‘round our heads like a prayer floating up to the ears
of all the Gods and Kami.

Distracted over supper -
Your eyes of gold shine, reflecting the full moon’s light;
delight echoing in your words, depths of love and longing
dripping from each sacred syllable; it stops my heart.

At every moment in between, their songs uniting;
the sacred pulse of your blood moving through your veins
shakes the air around you, the heat of Life drawing
my attention, my passion, my devotion.

It was ever only you.
It is ever only you.
It will ever be
only you.

Also found at AO3!

Watcher’s Delight

The hours drag slowly,

I should expect it,
really.

When you watch the Children
and your Beloved
chooses to Become One –
Repeatedly.

‘To get their perspective,’
they say.
‘They deserve to be respected.’

And yet …

if only they would speed their time up again!
They can’t even perceive me
with any sort
Of ease
or accuracy.
But even so,

LOVE pours off them
in waves.

Toward Me.

Toward all those Children.

My Beloved’s consciousness Awakens,
Explodes into Awareness
and EMPHATIC PRESENCE!
I am blinded by the fire of their joy at …

“FOUND YOU!”

and the blending of energies
has nothing of the human mess about it.

Nothing of the temporal,
for we are a Harmony unto Ourselves.

Love Song In Spite of Everything

My Soul sings of stars

long-longed for,
long half-remembered,
long, long, long told tales of
‘round camp fires
built by the children of Earth.

My Heart revolves
around the flame of You,
my Supernova,
builder of my defenses,
motivator of my every action;
I sing echoes of stardust
into the broken places in your frame.

Applying gems and precious metals
with careful pressure and heat
to the cracked places in your skin.

Kintsugi,
I think,
the Japanese call this idea.

You are my only Treasure,
breaks and all;
Your worth exceeds
the assumptions of others
about you.

They tell me you are Evil,
a clear-and-present

Danger,

Deviant,

Defiant,

a Liar.

They know nothing whatsoever
of who you are.

Of why you are.

Of what you cannot bear
these Children to endure

uneducated,

unprotected,

unloved.

Tabu in every lifetime,
you’ve said of our lifebond,
our love,
forbidden everywhere,
and everywhen.

And I don’t care anymore,
O Singular Delight!

Your hand in mine
prompts my stars to sing,
my homesick heart to
declare it’s hope,
which only ever lay
in you.

In your heart.

In our truth.

Someone quoted you
on a screen somewhere;

We’re on our own side, angel.

And they,
and you,
are right.

I’d Rearrange the Worlds

Golden-orange-rosy light of sunrise,
and I am reminded of the essential sense of You;

the passion with which you grieve your faults,
the fire with which you defend the Children’s Right to Be
exactly as they are,
to make their Choices
free of interference or punishment
that does not follow from their actions.

We stood so close so many times;
I shiver still in memory -
breath catching in my throat.

Every shape you choose to take
destroys my resolve to stand aside
and not be swept away into the bliss
that is your presence.

Although by now,
so many centuries,
multitudes of lifetimes -
I still struggle to admit that I’m in love.

Head over heels
Irretrievably
Hopelessly

I regret NOTHING
Except my inability to be graceful about it;
My failure to show you
precisely how Treasured you are
in this and every lifetime
gnaws at my core.

The fact that you shower me with romantic gestures
sweet, loving names,
and my instinctive replies –
out before I realize it’s said -
is always snide, dismissive, fearful.

I hide behind snark and dark glasses.
I hide behind bad habits.

You are the moral compass I lost so long ago
and I cannot even speak the love that burns
as embers in the darkest part of my soul
for you.

You stand just to the left of me, or to the right.
Direction dies when you are Present.
There is no hope for my hiding.
Not any longer.

You turn slightly, facing me.
Your smile lighting up worlds,
I have gone mute
again.

“It’s time for lunch,” you say,
and if it weren’t, I’d rearrange the worlds
for you
so that it would be.

“Ngk.” is all I say.

Gifts

Arrangements made
On the sly,
Purple irises in a bunch.

“My own!
I want to see your smile again!”
And a-plotting does he go.

A broken vase of a woman
Cries, overwhelmed with fears.
“My Love, my own!”

You whisper to my heart,

“Fear nothing, fear not!
For I am yours. For I protect you.
And no present

From my heart
Will fail you,
My Empress.

Do you accept?”
And, terrified but trusting,
I say yes.